Why we Fall and how to get Back up Again

My CFO, Brett Billman, told me a funny story yesterday.

He was chatting with two people over the weekend, and one of them asked what he did. He responded: “I’m the CFO for a startup.”

One person said: “Oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun.”

At the exact same time the other person said: “Yikes, that sounds super hard.”

Couldn’t be more accurate, right?

When I think about describing what startup life is like, I think about Bruce Wayne. 

Yes, you heard me.

Batman.

I’ll tell you why.

For me, working at a startup can feel like falling down everyday (or multiple times a day depending on the day #letsbehonest). and this classic line from the Batman trilogy gives us the perfect way to respond when we fall. 

Learning to pick yourself back isn’t something you’re born with.

People don’t just develop grit, perseverance, and resilience overnight.

I believe it’s something we have to teach ourselves how to do every day. Because it’s (a) much easier to stay down (b) much easier to not turn up and (c) much easier to not give your best.

Let’s start by listing some falling down moments… on the one hand, they can be as big as:

• Missing your key quarterly objectives

• Failing your customers

• Falling behind on hiring goals 

• or failure to deliver on deadlines

But they could also be as “small” as:

• Receiving difficult feedback from your leader or a peer  

• Being stuck on identifying a fix for a problem 

• Hearing a ‘NO’ on a sales call 

• or a customer complaining about their experience with us

In an environment like this, we’re constantly confronted with moments that trip us up and make us fall down.

So it’s up to us to keep picking ourselves back up. 

One of my favorite quotes (that I copied and pasted from my Leadr care card #shoutout) is…

• It never gets easier

• It never gets simpler

• It never slows down

• It's never quieter

• The stakes always go up

• You just get better

That’s a helpful mantra when you’re running at breakneck speeds: “you. just. get. better”

So, what are some helpful habits to learn to help pick ourselves back up?

Well, instead of hearing from me, I thought I’d pick from some of our very own Leadr team members to share what they do to pick themselves back up: 

Brian

When things go south, or not as expected, what helps me get back on my feet is the perspective that I've been here before. I’ll never forget what a mentor once told me, “humans can live up to forty days without food, ten days without water, and four minutes without oxygen, but it’s said we cannot live even four seconds without hope.” Having gone through tough seasons, and making it to the other side a better friend, husband, leader, and son - gives me hope that I can endure this too.  In my journey, I've found if hope is missing, a greater perspective must be found.

Heidi

In my early days at Leadr, it was easy for me to hear the internal monologue feeding the Imposter Syndrome beast any time I was met with obstacles or made mistakes. It never failed and always sounded something like, “I bet someone that had more experience wouldn’t have made that mistake…You’re proving the case that you were the wrong fit.”

Now, I feel like I am a product of what we are trying to help our customers instill in their teams. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones so when I miss the mark or it feels like I’m falling, it’s easier to hear the reminder that I’m growing and stretching, and that comes with failing. In those moments of falling, I assess what I could learn in the moment so that I won’t fall the same way again.

Natalie

For me, when things get a bit hard or adversity hits, my mind tends to go towards the question: what do I need to be learning right now? I run towards the hard stuff, the hard conversations, the disappointments. I’m a big fan of embracing whatever season you are in. If the season is good, I suck the life out it because I know it will carry me through the tough ones. If the season is a hard one I embrace it, I learn, and I work at solutions. For when the next hard thing comes, not only will I be stronger to take it on…I’ll also have more wisdom to navigate through it.

Anita

The concept of failure is never easy to accept. What I’ve held onto is the idea that there is no failure. There is winning or learning, and learning always leads to greater growth. So maybe it’s in failure where we are provided the opportunity to truly rise up and become better, stronger, and more capable than ever. Also, having a strong support system is everything. Alone, you’re faced with imposter syndrome, doubt, and fear. When you have a team around you, you’re able to appreciate what you alone bring to the table, you can more accurately gauge your growth over time, and you’re reminded that despite having areas of growth (which we all do), you are valuable to the people and mission you’re a part of.

As for me, I’m not going to shy away from falling down, instead, I’m going to focus on how to get better at picking myself back up. 

Lead on.

MT

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