Why Everyone Is “a Leader” Even if They Aren’t “the Leader”
Imposter syndrome has been a large, unhealthy, insecure part of my life. For the last 15-20 years, I walked into situations and felt like I didn’t belong. It felt like there was a spotlight on me that might turn on at any moment and reveal all of my deficiencies and shortcomings. I lived in fear that I would be exposed as a fraud.
When I started my first job at a notable restaurant in New Zealand, I was 15 years old. Ten years younger than anyone else on staff. I knew I lacked the experience and knowledge that other servers had. Guests would ask me questions, I would make up an answer, and they would take me at my word. I was walking around waiting for someone to figure out that I had no idea what I was doing.
A few years later, I was running the big brother program at my church. I was in charge of mentoring these boys coming out of really tough situations. They looked to me for guidance, consistency, and encouragement. I remember thinking, “I don’t belong here.” I was not equipped to deal with the problems that these young men were encountering. There must be someone else who was better suited.
At one of my next jobs, I was sitting in a boardroom listening to the conversations, realizing that I was yet again the youngest person by at least a decade. Again, I wondered how I had gotten there. I didn’t deserve this. Even talking to my mentor about my feelings of inadequacy didn’t help.
This is imposter syndrome. It is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” This fear is common. A lot of people struggle with navigating this while they are building their careers. Studies have shown that up to 82% of people experience these feelings at one point or another.
The reality is that we’re all here trying to play our part. Just because you doubt your abilities, does not mean that you do not have something important to contribute, a way that you can lead. Your background and your (lack of) experience is not the determining factor in leadership. When you show up and put in the work each day, you earn the stripes that make you a leader.
Here are four ways to earn your stripes as a leader, no matter your past experience:
#1 Proactive Communication
People want two things from their job: autonomy and clarity. The more that you communicate with your leader, the more autonomy you have. If you have a micromanager who is always asking questions and trying to know every detail, the best thing that you can do to regain your autonomy is to proactively communicate. The more you communicate, the more questions are answered ahead of time. That means a micromanager will be coming to you less frequently.
So, what do you communicate?
Share good news and bad news
Relevant information
Data with context and background
Clarifying questions
Decisions you’ve made
When you proactively communicate you demonstrate that you are someone who can be trusted and that trust is crucial to being an effective leader.
#2 The Stockdale Paradox
The Stockdale Paradox is a concept that holds that productive change begins when you confront the brutal facts while maintaining an unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end.
I encountered this working on a project at Leadr. We had to confront the fact that we had missed our deadline, we lost beta partners, and we needed to make changes to our engineering team. But we maintained the faith that we would prevail.
We could have leaned on optimistic platitudes. “It’s going to be okay.” “Everything will work out.” But that would not have acknowledged our reality. Because we missed our deadline, we were able to build a product that was scalable. Because we lost beta partners, we were able to clearly understand our ideal customer. Because we made changes to our engineering team, we knew that we had the right people on board.
Leaders earn their stripes when they are willing to look at the hard facts and choose to work through them. They understand that optimistic platitudes alone do not produce quality results.
#3 No Surprises
“This was a revelation to me: The good stuff was hiding the bad stuff. When downsides coexist with upsides, as they often do, people are reluctant to explore what’s bugging them, for fear of being labeled complainers. I also realized that this kind of thing, if left unaddressed, could fester and destroy Pixar.” - Ed Catmull, Creativity, Inc
No surprises is huge, especially for a growing team. If there is a lot of change or movement in the business and people don’t have the opportunity to share, it will destroy your business and undermine your leadership. If you continue to plow forward and don’t address the challenges, it will not only undermine your culture, but it will undermine your results too.
One way to avoid surprises is through clear, consistent communication which can be broken down into three categories:
For Your Information - This is purely informative communication which does not require any action for the reader. It keeps them in the loop of decisions that you have made and actions that you are taking.
For a Discussion - This communication provides data for a decision that needs to be made in the future.
For a Decision - This type of communication is requesting a decision. It presents all the necessary information and outlines the steps of each decision. It distills a complex problem down to a simple request: agree, disagree, let’s discuss
#4 Level Up
“I never stopped trying to become qualified for the job.” - Darwin Smith (CEO of Kimberley-Clark)
This is my favorite and least favorite quote. We can spend so much time trying to get “that job” and then, once we have it, we feel that we can coast. But everyday we need to compete for our job because everyday there are 100 people lined up to do your job. We always need to be working to be qualified for our job.
This starts with self-awareness and asking yourself questions like:
Where am I falling short/letting the team down?
Am I prepared for what’s next? In six months?
What feedback do others have for me?
Leaders earn their stripes by consistently working to improve themselves everyday. That means taking on more responsibility and stretching your capacity.
Every person has the capacity to be a leader. Even if you aren’t the leader, you can still be a leader in the way that you communicate and approach problems.
MT
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