3 Ways to Avoid the Sunday Scaries

I’m about 8 years into becoming an American, but I’m still learning new terms. The newest one I’ve learned is the Sunday Scaries.

For those of you learning along with me, the Sunday Scaries are those feelings of dread and anxiety that start to creep up on a Sunday afternoon as you start to transition out of relaxation mode and into work mode.

But the Sunday Scaries don’t have to be a given part of your work week. Now that I’m culturally relevant with yet another fancy word in my vocabulary, let me share some thoughts I’ve been pondering on how I think we can avoid the Sunday Scaries.

Missing Context Creates Anxiety

If it feels like you’re working in the dark, it can be hard to look forward to going to work each week.

In my own experience, I was previously working for a company that was relocating to the States from New Zealand. Leadership approached me and told me that I would be moving too. I wasn’t too excited about the idea at the time. I liked New Zealand and I was happy to keep working there while everyone else left. But if I wanted to keep my job, I had to move, so I got on board.

The projected move date was two months away and I had so many questions. What was my role going to be? How much was I going to get paid? Was this move permanent?

But it was radio silent. I had no answers. I didn’t feel grounded. I didn’t know what was happening. I was experiencing dread and anxiety around this move because I didn’t have enough information to work with.

It wasn’t until I sat down with my boss and got answers that I understood the context. When he explained everything it made sense, but I wished he had told me that sometime over the last two months.

Since I didn’t understand what was happening behind the scenes, I was susceptible to the Sunday Scaries every day of the week. All it took was a conversation with my manager to gain the context that I needed to get past my anxiety.

A Lack of Clarity Creates Uncertainty

If you feel like your job is constantly in jeopardy, it’s impossible to relax and enjoy your work.

I had a job where I literally thought I was going to be fired every day. We were a high-achieving team but we made no time to smell the roses and rest on our achievements. Some might say that’s the reason why we were so successful, but it did come with a lot of fear and uncertainty because all records were just records to be broken. So, I came to work every day thinking that I was going to be replaced by some fancy executive with a fancier resume.

I had no idea where I stood with my boss. So, when I got a calendar invite to have lunch with him, I was convinced I was getting fired. He had never asked me how I was doing, let alone asked me out to lunch.

The lunch was super weird. It wasn’t until I was back in the office that I found out that he was trying to be more relational with his team. Because I had never taken the time to find out where I stood with my boss (and he never let me know), I was living with constant anxiety that I would be fired at any moment.

Can you answer this question: Do you know where you really stand with your manager?

I believe that asking the right questions can help to combat the Sunday Scaries. Ask your manager where you stand so you’re not surprised by an unexpected performance review. Ask about company goals and the metrics that are being used to measure success so you can be confident in your efforts.

These conversations aren’t always easy, but the peace that you will gain from having clarity about where you stand will be worth the difficult conversation.

Lack of Purpose Leads to Demotivation

It’s easier to slip into the Sunday Scaries if you don’t feel connected to your organization’s mission or you don’t feel your work is valuable.

I used to work as an inbound call rep at a call center for a bank. There was a town in southern New Zealand that had experienced two earthquakes in a six-month span. The second earthquake demolished the town.

On a Tuesday morning after the second earthquake, I was fielding calls from people worried about being able to pay their mortgages. After the first earthquake, many of the insurance companies had gone bankrupt and weren’t paying out any more money. These people had no way to pay for their houses. They were worried about their loved ones who were still missing. We were having really hard conversations.

The same morning, the CEO turns up at the call center. He’s walking around handing out chocolate bars, giving fist bumps and high-fives. It felt really tone-deaf. I didn’t need a chocolate bar. I needed someone I could talk to about how intense this was. I remember thinking that I didn’t feel seen or heard. I was dealing with customers who had literally lost their loved ones, and I was being thanked with a chocolate bar.

The hard conversations that I was having didn’t matter to the CEO (or at least that’s how it was perceived). The work I was doing wasn’t important.

The work you do should enrich your life, not make you feel that you’re alone. Even in a high-pressure environment, if you can see the impact that your work has, it can make the idea of coming to work on a Monday less scary. Don’t settle for just okay. I hope these cautionary tales encourage you to look for the job, culture, or leader that invigorates you. And if you’re a leader, I hope you’re encouraged to provide context, clarity, and purpose for your team.

The next time you are caught with that feeling of dread and anxiety, think about these three questions and consider the steps you might take to avoid the Sunday Scaries.

Do you have the context you need to be successful?

Do you know where you really stand with your manager?

Do you know the impact your work is having?

MT

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